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My wife is threatening to leave me because I’m addicted to wearing a new T-shirt every half an hour.
I said, “Wait! I can change!”
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A guy asked me if I wanted to donate for a swimmin pool..
So I gave him a glass of water.
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We're opening a gym called Resolutions. It will have exercise equipment for the first two weeks of the year
and then turn into a bar for the rest of it.
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A person asked me, "Aren't you the guy who brags about weird stuff?"
I replied, "No, Im the guy who takes the longest baths in the city".
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Golf pro: Now I want you to go through the motions without actually hitting the ball.
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