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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
1
My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night.
Damn near poked my eye out.
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My wife says I’m addicted to auctions but she’s wrong. I actually stopped after going once…
...going twice...
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I said to my wife, "They say that childbirth is the most painful thing someone can experience..."
"Now, maybe I was too young to remember, but I didn't think it hurt that much."
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Burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night...
Should’ve put it on aloha setting!
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Whenever I see a school bus, I think about my uncles last words...
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