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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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My wife says I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid
Joke's on her, I can stop whenever I like
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I think my iPhone's broken
I pressed the home button, but I'm still at work
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Dogs can't see your bones.
But catscan.
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Why do dogs have such a great attitude?
They like to stay paws-itive
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“Dear Diary, I think I have trouble distinguishing between inanimate objects and human beings.”
My therapist: Yes, I see that. Stop calling me Diary.
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No bragging but I made six figures last year.
So they named me worst employee at the toy factory.
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What do you call a tree you can hold in your hand?
A Palm Tree
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me
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