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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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“Dear Diary, I think I have trouble distinguishing between inanimate objects and human beings.”
My therapist: Yes, I see that. Stop calling me Diary.
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My son got good grades in all his classes except Greek Mythology
That's always been his Achilles Elbow
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My son said, “Dad, I have to pee very badly!”
I said “Son, you’re 14. You should be pretty good at that by now.”
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What weighs more? A pound of milk or a pound of ricotta cheese?
A pound of milk. The ricotta is whey less.
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A man in an interrogation room says, “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present!" The cop growls, "You ARE the lawyer!"
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