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Did you know the US Mint is the richest Department in the US?
They make a lot of money.
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Why was the calendar depressed?
Because it’s days were numbered!
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My girlfriend left me because I'm insecure
Nevermind she's back she just went to pee
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What do you call two doctors with colds?
An ironic paradox.
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What did the sushi say to the bee?
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