To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
You have my Word!
What’s Forrest Gump’s password?
What's the difference between a guitar, a fish, and glue?
You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish!
I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!”
She is watching our wedding video again.
I got the words “jacuzzi” and “yakuza” confused.
Now I’m in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?