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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
2
I asked my wife if I’m the only one she had ever slept with.
She said “Yes.... all the other guys were nines or tens”
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1
I want to die like my grandpa did, in his sleep.
Not screaming like the people in the back seat of his car.
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-5
If Jesus was real they wouldn't call it the crucifixion
They would call it crucifact.
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3
When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a driveway!
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5
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
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1
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
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5
What does a zombie vegetarian eat?
“GRRRAAAIINS!”
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Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes?
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