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I want to die like my grandpa did, in his sleep.
Not screaming like the people in the back seat of his car.
If Jesus was real they wouldn't call it the crucifixion
They would call it crucifact.
When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a driveway!
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
What does a zombie vegetarian eat?
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
You have my Word!
Joke of the Day
What do you call a noodle that doesn’t drink?
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