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Boss: "How good are you at PowerPoint?" - Me: "I Excel at it." - Boss: "Was that a Microsoft Office pun?"
Me: "Word"
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Do you wanna know why skeletons are so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin
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What do cigarettes and squirrels have in common?
They're both perfectly safe until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
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Albert Einstein was a genius but
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Would anyone be interested in being my companion?
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