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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
I have my regrets about today..
Even the cake is in tiers!
2020 can’t end
Because we’d be admitting 2021.
Why do all kids want to be an astronaut?
Because there is no pressure.
My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night.
Damn near poked my eye out.
I ran over 5 miles today
Like, what are the odds they were all named Miles? Crazy.
What did Beethoven become after he died?
I clean all my weapons with tree sap.
Some say I’m crazy, but I’m sticking to my guns.
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