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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
-1
To all ya'll in Texas without tap water
Get well soon.
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I once debated a flat earther. He got so mad he stormed off saying he would walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around eventually.
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My wife thinks we should allow our pets to share our bed.... I finally gave in.
After 10 minutes, our goldfish finally settled down.
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I recently bought 51% of a Vampire hunting company...
I'm the main stake holder.
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Guys, I have been thinking about selling my Theremin.
I haven't touched it in years.
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1
My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list...
Now I can't read anything.
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The school phoned me today and said, "Your son's has been telling lies. "
I replied, "Tell him, he's bloody good. I don't have any kids."
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My GF left me once I stopped taking her to seafood restaurants
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