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My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
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I have a spouse in a different nation.
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I was in an argument about what the best kind of bread was
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I made a pencil with two erasers
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I finally found a drink that will help me get my butt in shape.
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I finally got my dream job at the guillotine factory
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If organ trafficking is illegal,
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My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy

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