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Why was it called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
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A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a drink?"
The bartender replies, "For you, no charge".
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Do you know why the say "be there or be square?"
Because you're not around.
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What do thieves make their weapons from?
Steal.
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What is hairy, brown, and goes up and down?
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