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Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Wife: I thought we agreed on three beers and be home by ten.
Husband: I'm sorry, honey, I always get those two mixed up.
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Her:I don’t even know what the cloning machine does
Me:Well that makes two of us
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My wife told me, “Don’t stress out if people keep calling you fat...”
..”You are much bigger than that.”
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Golf pro: Now I want you to go through the motions without actually hitting the ball.
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