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My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.
Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
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So I texted my crush and asked her, “Are you an ancient artifact,”
“Because I want to date you.”
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I'm trying to get my son into books.
But no authors want to write about him.
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How does a computer get drunk?
It takes screen shots.
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What is hairy, brown, and goes up and down?
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