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My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.
Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
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Who does a pharaoh talk to when he's sad?
His mummy.
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A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink, bartender looks at him and says
"for you, no charge."
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I threw some pills and accidentally broke one of my windows.
I didn’t realize they were pane killers.
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Why don’t blind people skydive?
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