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Shout out to my grandma.
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My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
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Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?
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Dad: someone here is possessed by an Owl. Son: Who?
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What’s it called when you kill chickpeas?

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