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Why are mints so smart?
Because mints make cents.
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I wrote down the names of everyone I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint.
He’s now high on the list of people I never want to see again.
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My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook...
So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
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Alligators can grow up to 13 feet.
Most, however, only have 4.
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What bug did dinosaurs hate the most?
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