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Reporter: How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?
Company owner: It's simple. I have 100 employees, and 99 free parking spaces outside. The other one costs $50 a day.
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Whenever my dad goes to get gas he says “regular please” and when the gas station attendant (we live in Oregon) asks “fill?” my dad replies
“No, Fred, nice to meet you”
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I was rejected from the astronaut academy
I guess the sky is my limit
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I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.
Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.
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Would anyone be interested in being my companion?
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