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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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My wife saw an ant picking up a leaf 5 times its body weight, and told me, “Can you imagine being that strong?”
So I picked up the leaf and said, “Yes.”
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What does Pac-Man eat with his chips?
Guacawakamole.
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Two guys are on a boat with 3 cigarettes and nothing to light them with.
They threw one over board and the boat is now a cigarette lighter.
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A girl came up to me and said she recognised me from her vegetarian resturaunt.
I was a bit confused, I'd never met herbivore.
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My boss hates when I shorten his name to Dick.
Especially because his name’s Steve.
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My friend is obsessed with taking blurry pictures of himself while taking a shower.
He has serious selfie steam issues.
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If number 666 is evil
25.8069758011 is the root of all evil.
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My dog is really good at playing fetch
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