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My boss hates when I shorten his name to Dick.
Especially because his name’s Steve.
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I was taught to never use the Oxford comma
by Mrs. Henderson, my high school English teacher and a first-rate whore.
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10 girls asked me to go out today!
I should be going into the girls bathroom more often!
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Wife: "Honey, I'm Pregnant."
Husband: "Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad" Wife: "No you're not...."
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What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
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