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Doing a good job at work is like wetting your pants in a dark suit.
You get a warm feeling, but no one else notices.
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What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A stick!
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Last year, my friend told me he’s quitting his job to pursue a miming career.
I haven't heard from him since.
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I was on the toilet, angry, and late for work.
I thought, “I don’t have time for this shit.”
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Did you hear about the new dating site for retired chemists?
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