The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

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Some guy came up to me and said, "I haven't gone to the bathroom in two weeks."

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A guy with flame tattoo sleeves walks into a building. Security stops him and says,

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I was caught by a gang of mimes.

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My interviewer asked if I could preform under pressure.

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What did the doctor say to his patient that wanted to do his own stitches?

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Shout out to the people wondering

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My boss told me as a security guard its my job to watch the office.