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Some guy came up to me and said, "I haven't gone to the bathroom in two weeks."
I said, "you're full of crap"
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Why don’t ants get sick?
Because they have little antibodies.
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I ran over 5 miles today
Like, what are the odds they were all named Miles? Crazy.
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Give a man a plane ticket, he'll fly for a day.
Push a man out of a plane, he'll fly for the rest of his life
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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