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Interviewer: We only hire people who are responsible.
Well, your search ends today. At my previous job, whenever something went wrong, everybody said I was responsible.
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Time flies when you're having fun.
When you're not having fun it usually takes the bus.
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What's Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Ba-na-na-naaaa. Ba-na-na-naaaaa.
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How do you drown a hipster?
In the mainstream.
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Would anyone be interested in being my companion?
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