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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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A guy with flame tattoo sleeves walks into a building. Security stops him and says,
There are no firearms allowed in this building.
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Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar every time I have pessimistic thoughts.
It’s currently half empty.
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Therapist: Your wife has complained you never buy her flowers, what do you have to say to that?
Well, in my defense, I never knew she sold flowers.
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My 10 year old came in with a piece of paper and said “Dad, I’ve got a joke for you.”
Then she ripped it in half and said, “Never mind, it’s tearable.” I feel like I’ve succeeded as a dad.
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Joke of the Day
When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.
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