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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said, "You missed work yesterday, didn't you?"
I said, "No, not particularly."
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What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
Fission chips.
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Anna gave up her seat to a blind person on the bus.
That's how she lost her job as a bus driver.
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My last annual performance review said I lacked passion and intensity.
They've never seen me alone with a really big cheeseburger.
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How does the Moon cut his hair when the Sun gets in the way?
Eclipse it.
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Nothing ruins a Friday quite like remembering..
it's actually Tuesday.
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If I had a dime every time I didn't know what was going on, I'd be like,
"Why is everyone giving me all these dimes?"
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Parallel lines have so much in common.
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