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When I got to work this morning, my boss stormed up to me and said, "You missed work yesterday, didn't you?"
I said, "No, not particularly."
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My wife thinks we should allow our pets to share our bed.... I finally gave in.
After 10 minutes, our goldfish finally settled down.
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If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it...
... then my illegal logging operation is a great success.
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What do you call two female lovers spying on the government.
Lesbionage
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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