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Nothing ruins a Friday quite like remembering..
it's actually Tuesday.
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
copilot: they keep your shirt closed
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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the pee is silent.
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What's a dog's favorite basketball player?
Charles Bark-ley
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What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
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