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My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
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As a lumberjack, I know that I've cut exactly 3,141 trees.
I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.
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Imagine having perfect vision...
No, I just can't see it
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Did you know that name-dropping at work is the worst thing you can do?
My coworker Robert De Niro told me that.
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Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
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