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I drank some food coloring
The doctor says I'm okay, but I'm dyeing inside
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I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!”
She is watching our wedding video again.
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It’s a shame nothing is made in the USA anymore.
I just bought a TV that said “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is!
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How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?
That was supposed to be in place a week ago.
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
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