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I was fired from a bank.
When a woman asked me to check her balance, I pushed her over.
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How is Christmas like another day at the office?
Because you do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit!
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Don't you hate it when a teacher lies and says the homework will be a piece of cake?
It always tastes like paper.
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Golfer: Caddiemaster, this boy you assigned me isn't even five years old!
Caddiemaster: Better for you, sir. He probably can't count past ten.
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Why don’t blind people skydive?
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