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I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control.
I thought to myself 'well this changes everything'.
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Some guy came up to me and said, "I haven't gone to the bathroom in two weeks."
I said, "you're full of crap"
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What do you call a dead lizard?
A Die-nosaur
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In college, I was so broke that I couldn’t afford to pay the electricity bill.
Those were the darkest days of my life.
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How did the T-rex feel after his workout?
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