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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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What do you call a broken can opener?
Can’t opener.....
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Therapist: Your wife has complained you never buy her flowers, what do you have to say to that?
Well, in my defense, I never knew she sold flowers.
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What do you call a five foot psychic that's escaped from jail?
A small medium at large.
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My middle school once had an anti-bulling activity and our teacher all told us "If you see something, say something!"
The blind kid didn't say a word for the rest of the school year.
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What do you call a piece of wood with nothing to do?
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