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I had a racing snail...
To make him more aero-dynamic I took off its shell. If anything it made him more sluggish
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People who wear glasses must be excited for next year.
It's the first time they'll see 2020.
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Two atoms were walking down the street. One turns to the other and says, "Oh, no! I think I'm an ion!" The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
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Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
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Why did the orange juice factory worker lose his job?
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