The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

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Why does it take a pirate so long to learn the alphabet?

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A lumberjack walks into an enchanted forest. As he goes to chop down a tree, it calls out. "Wait, don't chop me down. I'm a talking tree!"

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My wife said she prefers brown rice

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Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears.