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Why does it take a pirate so long to learn the alphabet?
Because he spends years at C!
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Albert Einstein was a genius but
his brother Frank was a true monster
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Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
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I took my wife to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you, but she wasn't very happy.
I told her next time she can pick the restaurant, if she really hated Subway that much.
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Knock-knock! Who's there? Kumquat. Kumquat who?
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