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Why did the farmer win an award?
Because he was out standing in his field.
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Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldn't see himself doing it.
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Pirate Ship Captain: I am desperate. Can someone tell me how to write the number 2 in Roman numerals?
Crew: I I Captain.
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I farted in the Apple store, and everyone got mad.
It's not my fault that they didn't have Windows.
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I dated a twin once...
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