The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

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Why did Beethoven get rid of all his chickens?

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Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?

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If I had a dime every time I didn't know what was going on, I'd be like,

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So I asked the dude next to me if he knew the chemical symbol for sodium hypobromite, and he was all like,