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I tried to catch some fog today,
but I mist.
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What do you call a calculator that works instantly?
Calcunow
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Two drunk guys were fighting. One of them drew a line in the dirt, and said if the other crossed it they would punch them in the face.
That was the punchline.
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The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally gave her a glue.
She's still not talking to me.
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I dated a twin once...
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