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What does a dyslexic agnostic insomniac do on his free time?
He stays up at night wondering if there really is a dog.
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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A ba-na-na-na.
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This morning at breakfast, my dad looked at us very seriously and said, “It hurts me when I say this..”
..”But I have a sore throat.”
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What do you call a half horse, half human doctor?
A centaur for disease control.
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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