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What do thieves make their weapons from?
Steal.
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Soccer striker: I had an open goal but still I didn't score. I could kick myself.
Manager: I wouldn't bother. You'd probably miss.
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It was mealtime on a small airline, and the flight attendant asked a passenger if he would like dinner. "What are my choices?" he asked.
"Yes or no."
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Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.
He wishes he was never Bourne.
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What do you call a nose with no body?
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