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Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon?
Because he was a paleontologist.
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My wife told me, “Don’t stress out if people keep calling you fat...”
..”You are much bigger than that.”
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Why did the guy get arrested for having sex with a piano?
Because it was A minor
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My girlfriend said she'll leave me if I don't support Trump.
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