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What did the duck say when it bought lipstick?
“Put it on my bill.”
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Why did the coach let the elephant play basketball?
He had already broken the bench.
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So I was asking my brother how come he only uses his superpowers on my daughters
He said it’s because he only has telekinesis not telekinephews
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A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm.
He shouts, “A beer please! And one for the road!”
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One impeachment is bad, but two impeachments.
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