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What did the duck say when it bought lipstick?
“Put it on my bill.”
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If a child refuses to go to sleep, is he resisting arrest?
No, he's avoiding a kidnapping.
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Doctor, I think I need glasses.
Teller: You certainly do! This is a bank.
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If number 666 is evil
25.8069758011 is the root of all evil.
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Golf pro: Now I want you to go through the motions without actually hitting the ball.
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