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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump.
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A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had avocados."
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My pet parrot Nico escaped yesterday and hasn't been seen since.
All I have now is a Nico-less cage.
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Why did the smartphone need glasses?
It lost all its contacts.
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Golf pro: Now I want you to go through the motions without actually hitting the ball.
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