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What did the cannibal get when he showed up late for dinner?
the cold shoulder
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Why do dogs have such a great attitude?
They like to stay paws-itive
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Why does seaguls live by the sea?
Because if they lived by the bay, they would be bagels.
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Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
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Cosmetic surgery used to be something that people would be embarrassed to speak about
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