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You can go from fat to fit
with one good vowel movement.
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I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson…
He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”
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Never challenge death to a pillow fight.
Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.
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Two guys are on a boat with 3 cigarettes and nothing to light them with.
They threw one over board and the boat is now a cigarette lighter.
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Golf pro: Now I want you to go through the motions without actually hitting the ball.
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