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You can go from fat to fit
with one good vowel movement.
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I was at the beach and saw this guy in the water yelling, “Help, shark! Help!
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
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How do you get your toilet so clean?
I scrub the shit out of it.
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I’m terrified of elevators…
… so I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.
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What do you call a nose with no body?
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