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Siri kept calling me Shirley this morning. I was starting to get really pissed off, and then I realized why...
I left my phone in Airplane mode
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Boss: "How good are you at PowerPoint?" - Me: "I Excel at it." - Boss: "Was that a Microsoft Office pun?"
Me: "Word"
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What is cold and stands under a street lamp?
A frostitute.
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What do you call a blind deer?
No-eye-deer
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My boss told me as a security guard its my job to watch the office.
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