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Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears.
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
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In my twenties, I used to live on a houseboat, and started seeing the girl next door.
Eventually we drifted apart.
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A friend of mine claims he can throw a stick 5 miles and his pet dog will retrieve it.
I think that's a bit far fetched.
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I went to a strip club for blind people
The girls there were dancing like nobody was watching
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My wife asked me if I'm ever gonna stop singing "Wonderwall"
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