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Not to brag, but I have sychic powers.
For example, right now you’re thinking, “It’s psychic, idiot.”
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I’ve just won a few hands in poker.
Some people really will gamble anything.
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Yesterday I slapped Dwayne Johnson's ass.
I've officially hit rock bottom.
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Me: Honey, I'm terrified of vowels. Wife: Ummm, why?
Me: Only sometimes.
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What bug did dinosaurs hate the most?
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