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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Not to brag, but I have sychic powers.
For example, right now you’re thinking, “It’s psychic, idiot.”
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I couldn’t decide on how much lettuce to buy, until my wife helped me think it through.
Turns out two heads are better than one.
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My buddy said 'There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me.' I asked, 'Which is?'
'Exactly', he replied.
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Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father.
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What is hairy, brown, and goes up and down?
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