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I got home from work angry and tired, so I asked my wife if she could make turkey and duck for dinner.
I was in a fowl mood.
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I'm an atheist 11 months out of the year, but in December...
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My last annual performance review said I lacked passion and intensity.
They've never seen me alone with a really big cheeseburger.
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Why do hair dressers always get places faster?
Because they know all the short cuts.
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I gave all my dead batteries away today…
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