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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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On his deathbed, my grandfather said, “Remember these two words. It’ll open a lot of doors for you in life.”
Push and Pull.
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I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson…
He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”
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What do you do to an opened wardrobe?
You closet.
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I wrote down the names of everyone I hate a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll a joint.
He's now high on the list of people I don't want to see again.
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What color do cats like best?
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